Any Tinder user would know the pain. The guy with a profile which lists his unique interests: “I like travel, movies and hanging with mates.” Insightful, mate. If you’ve had this gripe and many more you’re not alone.
Two Ask Reddit threads asked women and men to reveal the things people write on their dating profiles that are deal-breakers – with hilarious results.
For women, there were plenty of things on men’s profiles that made them die a bit inside. One commenter hated this guy’s strategy: “’If I read your profile and like what I see, I may reply to your message.’ Chill out there Narcissist Ned.” This news-breaking trend was a pet peeve for another woman: “That weird review thing they do like ‘best guy ever – the times’ or something.”
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For one commenter, it was guys who struggled for words. “People who helplessly bemoan out the futility of trying to describe themselves on a profile-based site like OkCupid. ‘I’m just so complex! How do you sum up your entire personality in a box?’ I don’t know, with words? Somehow I managed!”
Women wanted their dates to come without a side of issues. “Complaining about other women in the dating site. I’ve read stuff like ‘Women on [dating sites] are shallow anyway!” Or when they message you like, ‘You probably won’t read this anyway, women never do.’ Don’t complain about us to us. We don’t know you.” It’s just that he’s been hurt, right?
One woman wanted a smooth criminal: “I’m also sick of guys looking for a partner in crime. Don’t say it unless you really mean it!” But most of all, men shouldn’t mess with our love for the pug life, not the thug life. “’That’s not my dog.’ Disappointment in one sentence,” said one user.
Men had a few gripes of their own about women’s profiles. Turns out, it could be time to delete that red-dress dancer emoji (even though she’s so sassy). “A long list of emojis that are supposed to represent different aspects of their personality,” was one user’s pet peeve. “I see you’re part dolphin and really like the number 100? And double nope if one of those emojis is their astrological sign.” Byeee, Capricorn, 24.
Better check your Facey settings ladies because this guy wants your age to be accurate. “Oh and I’m not really 23, not sure why it says that.” Because you lied about your age on FB you idiot.”
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Don’t get too picky Barbie, says another guy. “Trillions of requirements that only people who [are] a human Ken doll can fill the checklist.” Or too joyful, either. “’I love to laugh.’ No shit. I’ve never met anyone that doesn’t like to laugh.”
Lastly, keep your cray in check. Don’t write: “’All my friends say I’m crazy lol!’ Translation: you and your friends are earth-shatteringly dull,” says a commenter. The real crazies don’t put it on their profile, apparently.
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