In puberty, it began with the Counting of Foliage, cars, paving stones, followed by washing and control compulsions, compulsive thoughts with sexual, aggressive content forced. Today, Dennis Riehler has his life under control and that he can help others Affected. Of normality, he is still far.
There is a dark autumn morning over 20 years ago. On the Bus to school, waiting, I read in the Newspapers, put but this is short-hand in my pocket and looked around instead. Fog over swaths traversed, all around me was the Foliage. I had the idea to count the leaves on the ground came.
It was the beginning of a forced career, which began so ordinary: A couple of dozen leaves had, I counted as my Bus arrived. The number stayed with me until the next day in memory. And curiosity grabbed hold of me the next Morning to find out how many leaves were on the ground. A pretty boring affair, one might think. However, the Counting of the Leaves, paving stones, cars, roofing tiles and man – it was a kind of Sport for me, over months, every day the same procedure.
About the guest author
Dennis Riehle was born in 1985. He lives in Konstanz on lake Constance. The 33-Year-old is a PR specialist and Psychological consultant. He cared for the constraints of self-help initiative, phobias and depression, in the district of Konstanz. He is also a diseases, member of the Board of the German society Forced, and has written about its history and everyday life with obsessive-compulsive disorder a book.
The obsessive-compulsive disorder crept into everyday life
At the age of twelve it happened to me – and until much later: This Count was not a mere distraction while Waiting for the Bus. It is an intensive and long – winded obsessive compulsive disorder, which is got only by a visit to the children’s and youth psychotherapist in your name was observed.
Meanwhile, I had not only counted, but also started to wash me hands. No, it’s not like any of us, but at least 200 times a day. And Check this: When you Leave the house the door and re – lock. 30 to 40 times. The electric devices on and off. The window open and close again. As monotonous as it may sound, it was like that, too. The obsessive compulsive disorder is, in truth, a pretty boring thing, which exposes the Affected but a huge pain to get to.
As a pubescent Boy standing in the middle of the school life, would have actually had other things of joy, but not Counting, washing or control constraints. It is this plethora of time lost, the internal pressure to have something to do, which is completely nonsensical, but you can’t fight it.
Not with the increasing number of obsessive thoughts that came to me in the home, with aggressive, sexual or religious content. Again and again the same, repulsive thoughts, out of nowhere you come out and you manifested for days, weeks, months. A Thought merry-go-round seems to stop no one. In school, I was largely forced. But outside of that, my head turned, my hands were bloody from Washing.
The compulsion is somewhat in the grip normal everyday life, however, is not
With the change to a psychiatrist and taking my first antipsychotic of the forced reduced fortunately. In the meantime, anxiety had depression. And in a Moment, in the important decisions: high school diploma, study and Rehabilitation of the mental exertions of the past few years. A self-help group I had founded soon to come to with people who were also affected. The doubts were whether they could feel after several hours of showers really clean. The have always, and always the thoughts around wore, is perhaps with HIV or any other disease. Not being able to go out of the house, because they were also after hours of checking for sure if the door lock was engaged.
Constraints make it lonely, how I felt. The stronger the determination of a handle in my life, to choose for reasons of mental resilience, a remote studying, which should bring me further. Even after years of ongoing treatment and psychotherapy, the constraints have not disappeared completely, but I have reduced it significantly.
I’m only 40 time of the day on the sink, to wash the hands, this is for me a success – even if my family is considered when shopping is still weird, if you soap gallons of liquid home drags. Such bizarre moments reveal themselves with obsessive-compulsive disorder almost on a daily basis. Because “normal” is with a forced-nothing more.
Patience, Composure and a bit of Humor will help
The also let me the outside world feel increasingly at a distance. Away from the family has the support to school times particularly large. Later, there were the adults, the difficult acts with a mentally ill deal with it. The suffering history has been mostly concealed, the weekly response to the therapist was a spit-route running, in order not to be discovered.
Hostility like “Hey, you Psycho!” were rare, but they existed. In addition, you may not forget the handful of friends who held before and after the forced strong to me. In the year 2018 I’m particularly Concerned of courage: An obsessive-compulsive disorder is a very lengthy illness, which can throw life completely out of whack. Members and the environment can be an important companion, but should not be put in a Co-dependency, by trying to remove the Concerned with the forced””. Patience, Composure and a bit of Humor – it can’t damage, but must often be learned first, as I know from my own experience.
I could not finish my studies, also for psychological reasons successful this is for me an element of uncertainty, which I attribute to a forced move. I have gained through the deep valleys of a mental illness a lot of sensitivity. I can put myself better in the Situation of others than in the past. And I enjoy much more every single moment, in the me the forced.