For Sex-the accident to the hospital: doctor bizarre finds and spicy betrays excuses

I know that there are other colleagues differently, but I have actually, almost all understanding. This is also true for the always re-occurring, difficult to explain accidents during Sex with things that were not meant to be really suitable and never.

In my work as an emergency doctor, ambulance doctor, and things-from body openings-remove-the doctor was allowed to, I wonder often about what goods and culinary delicacies find their way into the male or female’s Anus or in the Vagina. But after the series.

The art of a good doctor, a good sister, a nurse, or a paramedic is to give the patient the feeling that a small Sexunfall is the most Normal thing in the world, and virtually every day-to-day can happen. Quasi-so, how to get in a dog pile or when Smoking Crack caught to be or to gain six million euros in the lottery.

That is to say: Here is a question of sensitivity, something that will dominate just Doctors with flying colors. O-tone of a Rhenish colleagues: “Wat is there in the Fott?” The answer was of course an awkward Silence.


Heinz-Wilhelm Esser is a specialist in Internal medicine, pulmonology, and emergency medicine. He is a senior doctor in Remscheid hospital.

Rarely, the Patient is bright in the ambulance, and reported with pride on the billiard ball, the wild love of the game is now ten inches deep in the rectum. On The Contrary. The Affected it is usually very, very uncomfortable, and so wild and adventurous it was in the run-up to, the more embarrassing touched, and stiller is in contact with the helpers. (…)

A popular game between couples of any gender, but also of the sole holders is often practiced, is the hiding place. The Area in which hides may be, is limited to the body openings below the belly button may be selected to be hidden from the game Manager.

Reusable bottle to screwdriver

To me has not opened up yet, the criteria according to which the game device is selected. It depends on the accessibility or availability or of the Form? The fact is, that in the case of meat eaters, often fruit in all its diversity to satisfy “öngerum”, such as the Rhinelander says, must serve.

Here is a small list of things I was allowed to self-bergen “is”:

1. Vibrator

2. Banana

3. Cucumber

4. Zucchini

5. Boiled Egg

6. Reusable bottle

7. Ballpoint pen

8. Screwdriver

9. Inhalation spray

10. Phone

As already mentioned, it is rather unusual that the victim called the child by name, to learn faster help. Instead, a blush decorates often the face of the person Concerned, it is mumble or a whisper and hysterical giggling. But there are also, of course, significantly better situations than to identify, in the emergency room at the sign of the mishap.

The excuses of the patient are always the same

Interestingly, patients show little inventiveness when it comes to the sequence of events – which I think is a great pity, because it interested me. An often-belonged to history is, in a lot of fruits edge is located in the bathroom of the patient on the when, the Patient was just on the way in the tub or out of the tub, and then unfortunately crashed, the Kiwi, or banana, or other vitamin-containing found its way in to the Popo.

I nod then always very friendly, confirm the patient in his credibility, and congratulate him on his luck that he is only on the fruit and not on the back of the head like that.

Here is the Newsletter of ‘health’ subscribe

Reports, Videos, backgrounds: From Monday to Friday, provided you FOCUS Online with the most important messages from the health Department. Here you can subscribe to the Newsletter easily and free of charge.

In most cases, you can get the items easily recovered, and the poor Patient can leave – usually slightly wide-legged with a limp – the hospital. Worse, if you can nachwinken despite the anal spreader, the gripper and excellent finger dexterity – the subject on its way into the Interior.

Especially in the case of vibrators, this is a risk, since these can move because of their property of the Vibration in a very effective forward. In my time as a PJler, so in the practical year in the surgical Department of the University hospital, I was called to a man who had pain greatest lower abdomen. When it came to him, it was clear, what was the unlucky one, as it buzzed funny out of his belly: When you have fun with herself and a Vibrator, the return was torn cord, and the Vibrator was already on the way through the colon, according to the Motto: “I’m out of here.”

After the Removal of the Patient wanted to have his Vibrator back

Thus, the Patient buzzed the first time in the radiology Department, in the several recordings of his belly were made to the approximate localization estimate. In the following meeting, incredulous Silence, then: It was not a case of a Vibrator of normal dimensions, but the blue whale, the vibrators, the Brontosaurus of sexual gratification – in short: a Monster of a Vibrator. Each of us thought the same thing: How did that fit?

The Patient was operated on after that, without complications, and the Vibrator is removed from the body. From the anesthesia awake, he dared hardly in her senses to ask, “Can I have it back? The was new and expensive.“ A finder’s fee in a case like this, by the way, is not common and reusable bottles remain in the possession of the holder.