From an early age we are taught to be polite and follow the rules of etiquette. That’s just usually silent about the fact that this behavior is not always appropriate, and not every source deserves it, especially if it’s toxic personality and the more criminal. Since politeness can not only help, but hinder us in life, it is important to know when and under what circumstances neglect the reputation of an educated man.
We found 7 somewhat common situations, once in which is better to forget about manners and think about self-preservation.
On the roadway have to follow the rules of the road, but not their ideas of etiquette. Often you can see a picture of how overly polite the driver applies the brakes when a pedestrian, who crumpled on the curb, intending to cross the road in the wrong place. Especially if a pedestrian is an elderly man or woman.
However, gallantry may result in mortal danger: the act of the politeness of the driver, the pedestrian will be released on the roadway in the hope that other members of the movement to pass it. The problem is that drivers from neighboring rows it is simply not visible because of the stopped car, and the risk of being shot down in this situation is great as ever.
Unnecessary politeness during the evacuation can be very dangerous. Of course, according to conventional wisdom, women and children should skip ahead, but there are times when this sorting of victims is difficult and fraught with additional risks for everyone.
For example, if we are talking about the evacuation of close quarters (car, plane, etc.) or through narrow doorways, as well as in situations where orderly evacuation becomes chaotic escape the Madding crowd.
In such circumstances it is better not to be a hero, and clearly follow the instructions responsible for the evacuation of persons and the lack thereof to leave the premises in a stream without creating any congestion or crowding. Persistent attempts to skip someone ahead could disrupt the orderly movements and to delay the evacuation.
3. The incompetence of the leadership
Unfortunately, few subordinates are willing to go against his superiors, even if the folly or immorality of the head is obvious. However, the tacit condoning of other people’s errors can become fatal for many people. The history knows such cases.
So, in 2010, crashed plane of Polish President Lech Kaczynski, and, according to one version, the cause of the disaster were reckless orders aboard of high-ranking officials, submitting which the crew began to land in bad weather conditions.
There are also examples of the opposite: in 1960, pharmacologist Frances O. Kelsey, despite immense pressure, rejected the FDA (Management on sanitary inspection behind quality of foodstuff and medicines of the USA) application for approval of the drug Kevadon. In the end, the toxicity of the latter has been proven to have saved thousands of lives.
Sometimes it is necessary to have the courage to act in accordance with their principles and sense of justice, rather than be afraid to drop yourself in the eyes of the authorities.
4. Gender competition
Scientists have found that women more than men, tend polite behavior, respectful manner of speech and compassionate attitude towards others. So soft and non-confrontational style of communication contributes to the suppression of women, their needs in an unconscious effort to maintain harmony in the team.
So, ladies, unwittingly, place themselves at the lowest level of the social hierarchy. This is manifested even when a woman has a higher social status than the man. It turns out, for the successful promotion of the career ladder would be superfluous sometimes and forget about etiquette, showing some flatness and rigidity.
Bringing to automatism polite behavior, we inertia demonstrated it in circumstances where it would seem, not to politeness: courteous say no to indecent proposals, trying cultural requests to mitigate aggression and rudeness, and, worst of all, afraid of “losing face” in truly dangerous situations, such as assault.
However, in the last example is certainly not up to the reverence and fear that you will think about you around. Specialists suggest self-defense in a dangerous situation not to be shy and attract the attention of all possible ways: though the swearing, though heart-rending cries — if only to confuse the attacker and attract the attention of other people.
6. The obsession of others
Probably each of us once in my life caught in a situation when you really want to interrupt the stuffy boring meeting or conversation with a chatty neighbor, but “it’s rude”. It is at this complex is based strategy phone advertising when people impose unnecessary information, taking advantage of his inability to simply throw the phone.
Meanwhile, to deny it can within the limits of decency. Is to formulate a few standard phrases to deftly and categorically to get rid of obsessive interlocutors without the guilt and risk being branded as ill-mannered person. It can be very simple, but, more importantly, strongly pronounced arguments:
- Sorry, but I’m late.
- Alas, I must: here comes my bus.
- Unfortunately, I can’t give you enough attention in a hurry.
- I would not want to interrupt, but I need to go to the bathroom.
7. Health care
According to a survey conducted among the British, 40% of them will not go to the hospital with symptoms of cancer just because you think it’s rude to bother the doctor.
It is believed that every year in the UK could be prevented 11 thousand deaths, if people just turned to medical experts. However, short-term need to be polite is more important than long-term need to stay alive.
And have you been yourself in a situation when you only politeness prevented?