Almost from birth are taught empathy. Parents, teachers, religion – everybody is saying that it is good and right. Just try to tell someone that you are against empathy: for companies it sounds like “I hate kittens”. Or even worse.
But the Professor of psychology from Yale University Paul bloom said, and even wrote an article about why the ability to empathize is overrated. And his colleagues from the University of Buffalo confirmed: empty injurious to health.
Where does this feeling?
Scientists believe that the ability to empathize 90% depends on the company and the remaining 10% is in our genes. Empathy emerges even before we begin to walk and talk. Remember turn to the pediatric dentist: if one child starts to cry, then join the rest. The kids don’t even know why cry, just because of the unconscious feelings of empathy.
We are not the only species capable of empathy. If a lab rat to offer a meal and then shock another rat, she refuses treats. Dogs try to comfort crying people, even strangers.
At the University of Washington scientists have taught sign language to chimpanzee Washoe. One day, a matron by the name of kat had a miscarriage, and she came to Washoe. The chimp took offense and ignored the cat when she returned. But when the woman motioned for her lost child, Washoe hugged her, and then motioned “tears”.
Empathy blurs the boundaries between you and another creature. It is powerful against selfishness and indifference. Thanks to her, we understand others, seek to rid the world of suffering, joy in others ‘ happiness and do charity work. It is considered that the use of sympathy is too obvious and therefore requires no confirmation.
And it isn’t.
Oddly enough, but the most empathic people – maniacs, sadists. Otherwise they would not receive pleasure from suffering of the victim. But in people with autism is low levels of empathy, but cruelty, they do not show. What does this mean? Yes, that word “empathy” and “good” is not synonymous.
The empathy is full of biases: we are more sympathetic to attractive people and those who are like us. It deprives us of the ability to think clearly. Who do you sympathize with more: the starving in Africa or the character DiCaprio in “Titanic”?
In addition, for the empathy you have to pay for their own health. People tend to empathize more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety disorders and cardiovascular diseases. In psychology there is even a diagnosis of empathic stress.
And without empathy?
Paul bloom believes that this is not the only or even the main feeling that causes us to show kindness and care. Imagine the child of your friend drowned. If you are prone to empathy, you will feel the same as the other: a great sorrow and pain. Anyone can help – you just will experience emotional exhaustion.
But you can help, and do not suffer. The doctors care about the patients, and this is the best help of all. Staff hotlines save people from suicide and it is the most important support. When you work with other people’s suffering, itself arises a defense mechanism: it is impossible to spend many hours of heart surgery, or to win the battle in the courtroom, if you’re feelings. In charities speak: the smallest help is always better than the biggest compassion.
How to be compassionate right?
Researchers are advised to protect health and not to forget about your own feelings. Do not overload yourself with responsibility. It is important to realize how you can help and put themselves adequate to the task. Not to save humanity from a lonely old age and to go to a nursing home. That does not solve the problem of homeless animals and to help the shelter.
Do not rock the boat of empathy just. You really want to watch criminal news? Whether the hundredth time, flipping the pages of charities in the Internet? To understand the other, but not losing yourself is the only way to protect yourself from emotional burnout.