Not or only difficult to come during Sex to climax, is often seen as a female Problem. However, a lot of men have to struggle with orgasm difficulties. A sex therapist explains what is behind the disorder and how to overcome them.
The Vagina is delicate, fine and soft,. It sounds strange, but some men actually have a Problem. You can even bring it with the Hand, a lot of pressure, or by another method well self to orgasm – but with a partner it just doesn’t work.
Difficulties, to come to a climax, made mostly with women – in contrast, the widespread view that men have no problems with that and always can. The majority also says, the Swiss Sex – and psychotherapist Dania Schiftan in an interview with FOCUS Online. Because many men get from the birth of a lot of Exercise with your Penis, and therefore learn early and well how you can deal with it.
The dark figure with orgasm problems is high
A Problem arises frequently when men are not able to what you have learned through self-satisfaction, to implement in a Vagina. Very many then come with your Problem in Dania Schiftans practice and complain they could not get a climax. However, this sentence is not true most of the time, you can do it just not in every Situation.
Reliable Numbers on how many men have orgasm difficulties, there are studies suggest that five to ten percent are affected by the Problem. It is sure to be a bigger issue, as one would assume, and the dark figure is high, the sex therapist. Because generally speaking, men would take faster sexual therapeutic help than women, for example, when it comes to your erection – because then they felt threatened and quickly. But on the subject of pleasure and climax they have often afraid to come because they think it will pass again.
It is often difficult to identify where the error comes
Experts distinguish between Hypoorgasmie, primary and secondary anorgasmia. In the case of a Hypoorgasmie the man comes occasionally to the climax. In the case of primary anorgasmia, the man has never experienced in his life an orgasm, in the case of a secondary came to him this ability is later lost. An orgasm disorder can have various causes, for example Diabetes, inflammation of the genital organs, neurological diseases such as multiple sclerosis and Parkinson’s disease, hormonal disorders, regular heavy alcohol consumption, Tumor diseases such as prostate cancer, or taking medications such as antidepressants. Purely physical causes as a trigger for an impairment of the ability to reach an orgasm, but rarely.
Dania Schiftan, declares that it is in most cases an interaction between physical and psychological factors: is The men have often learned too little about your body and the Mental. Or there are mental causes, such as shame and guilt, and a result that is inhibited and not with his body exerts on the other hand is. To identify a vicious circle that often makes it difficult where the trouble really comes, and to classify them clearly.
Erectile dysfunction is closely linked to
In addition, a therapist, orgasm disorders, according to the sex almost always Hand-in-Hand with erectile dysfunction, because both are closely related to each other. Erectile dysfunction can be an early warning system for heart disease what you should concern in such cases, the therapist: In men of a certain age, it is worthwhile also to the family doctor for a Check-up.
Most of the time the clients notice at first that the orgasm comes delayed. Then you Worry, what often leads to erectile dysfunction. Especially in old age, it takes longer, and then nothing works out sometime. The diagnosis is therefore a bit arbitrary, because it always depends on: what a Moment you caught the men?
With physical exercise men to get close to your Penis
It becomes problematic when the man begins to move away from the partner to withdraw, and thinks that it is easier to satisfy themselves. If the experience is not in the Sex satisfying, but exhausting. And if he goes with the self-satisfaction more and more in a control mode, in the sense that it Works yet? He stands still?
In the normal case, the most Important thing is to address the topic at all, so the men remember: There’s someone here who wants to talk to you really with me and is not shocked, if I tell strange or frightening things. If the psychologist is working with Affected, differs not fundamentally different from their treatment of female clients. Firstly, it is important to understand where these blockages come from, what is the goal of work is to be. And then it runs frequently on the physical Exercises, in the sense that the Penis is closer to it, to close friendship with the Penis, explains Dania Schiftan.
In therapy you can learn to touch a different
In September, your book is Coming Soon – orgasm is a matter of Practice in Piper Verlag, a training manual for the vaginal orgasm. Next, the therapist would like to write a book about the male counterpart, because a male orgasm is always a matter of Practice – and this idea is a Central component of their therapy. In the same way as for women, there is also a very good perception exercises for the man with whom he had to expand his Repertoire and fine can be, she says.
If a man is accustomed to a certain way to attract, he can learn in therapy, to touch different. This is not as easy as it sounds. The psychologist often has to do with older men, the grasp must, veins, nerves, and skin, and thus the perception of the body with age change. First, if you understand what you else can do and to learn, to feel, and can also change something, so Dania Schiftan. And then, it may be that a man ejaculating the way to old age without problems and an erection can have.A result of a man however, his life again and again, its the same System, there would be trouble.
Performance pressure and fear of failure can be triggers
A classic case from your practice is also, that men, after their partner had a birth, have the impression that the Vagina was now much too big and you can’t feel your Penis. I once had a client who said: This is like when you throw a sausage in a gymnasium, told Dania Schiftan. If you look at this case carefully, we see: This is a man that attracts, especially with a relatively strong Hand. This is the classic Jerk: He’s sitting in front of the Porn and rubs off. The Vagina has become, perhaps, only a Millimeter wider, but it is no longer enough, so he felt enough friction.
The Problem lies in the changes in the body of the woman – rather, the man needs to learn how to can with this change in the environment. This client came in then, mentally, that he was under pressure because he had to find his role as a father, and his changing role as a Partner, explains sex therapist.
To accept the Problem, is only a temporary solution
The pressure of performance, fear of failure, high expectations, a want to have a strong focus on the partner or accusing statements, such as You me attractive enough orgasm can trigger difficulties or strengthen. Most of the pressure from the outside, but of the men themselves make, however, is: If you were to ask the women, they often say: Nah, for me, that’s okay! He is the stress.
To lead some discussions and orgasm problems accepting temporarily to be important. To put this in perspective, the Problem is not, according to Dania Schiftan, but also the right strategy. Because the man does not want to get used to the Situation: The kind of therapy that I do with the men, therefore, change, acceptance-oriented, explains the psychologist.
Men fall quickly into an existential crisis
Primarily, the man must in the therapy itself ran for a couple of problem this could make the adult in the partnership much more difficult. And if you have to constantly practice together, all of the woman quickly, in a nurse role, which can be very unhealthy for the relationship. The partner should be included, models to explain the current Situation to get and avoid additional pressure. However, it is important that you function in, so Dania Schiftan. Because if the man Exercises more focused on you, lost quite a lot.
Women know it is typically rather as a temporary phenomenon that you experience while of arousal, but have difficulties to reach to the climax – for example, if you are stressed out. It is not even so normal, that they usually think about much about it. Men are less accustomed to, and advised, according to the psychologist faster in an existential crisis: often come up at the first difficulty with the Penis in your practice. In the majority of cases, the excitement is exaggerated but. It is not normal and totally fine, that it doesn’t work out.
And there are even cases in which men practicing it are aware, to come to the climax: In some tantric groups the is cultivated, for example, literally, to spread the pleasure as long as possible in the body and then also remains, says Dania Schiftan. This can be something that you want.
Dania Schiftan: Coming Soon – orgasm is a matter of Practice – 10 steps to a vaginal climax, Piper Verlag, ISBN: 978-3-492-06126-1