Not All Women Want Kids And That’s OK

There comes a time in every woman’s life where the topic of kids comes up. Whether at a dinner table conversation or in the workplace, the “kid talk” doesn’t confine itself to one age or lifestyle alone. Instead, it seems to haunt women like a ghost. When you’re younger it appears like a goal-post, a finish line ready to be crossed in the future. When you’re older though, it hits like an hour glass, one you’re seemingly losing to, as the sand drains away and time itself slips away from you. 

The fact is, not all women want children yet the societal expectation we have of women to reproduce and fill a maternal role is so deeply ingrained, for those who admit to such leanings, theirs is a hard sell to listeners. These women are bombarded with questions, subject to judgement, and often have to plead their worth in other areas simply to have people give them a break. It’s exhausting, which is why we need to start listening to women express why they have deiced not to have kids. 

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In a recent BuzzFeed Community message board, countless women shared their decision as to why they opted not to have kids and the answers were enlightening. One commented: “I’ve known I don’t want kids my entire life – I dislike everything about children. I don’t want to put myself through pregnancy, and I don’t want to put all of my time and money into raising one. It’s not my dream or my passion, and there are millions of other people out there who can do that instead. I will live my life how I want, just like they do.”

Another added: “All my life I’ve never wanted children, but I’ve always had to deal with people telling me I’ll change my mind. I’m turning 30 soon, and to no surprise, my mind hasn’t changed! It makes me question why people want my mind to change when I’m so passionately against this decision – if I had a kid, I would regret it.”

Others commented on what being child-free gives you in terms of a lifestyle. One wrote: “My husband and I have nieces and nephews and every time we visit them, we realise just how much we value our freedom. After spending only a few hours with them, we’re always mentally and physically exhausted. We love that we can travel on a whim, take a nap when we want, spend money on fun things, and drink when we want.”

“I was worried that if I went my whole life without having children that I’d feel a void, but as time goes on, I feel like I don’t need them to have a wonderful life. I enjoy being married to my husband, I love our life together, and I love my career, and in my mind, kids wouldn’t improve any of that.”

Another said: “It bothers me that women are raised to think having kids is what they’re supposed to do. Once, when asked whether I wanted kids or not, a woman tried to literally convince me I would want children one day. I had to argue with her politely that I wouldn’t. I have never wanted them – I’m 35 and that isn’t going to change. I wish people would sit down, think, and let themselves decide whether they want kids or not without any outside influences.”

To read more of the responses, head to the BuzzFeed article here. 

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