Watch: What happens when parents expect too much from their child

"Neuroscientists have also found that chronic stress triggers long-term changes in brain structure and function. Children who are exposed to chronic stress are prone to mental problems, such as anxiety, depression, and mood disorders later in life."

A lot of parents want their child to be the best in everything, from academics to sports. Many might argue that they leave no stone unturned to get their child the best of facilities. So, why shouldn’t their son or daughter do the same to succeed?

When parents force their expectations on the child, it can have a negative impact. In a Tedx Talk, educator Austeja Landsbergiene said,”Neuroscientists have also found that chronic stress triggers long-term changes in brain structure and function. Children who are exposed to chronic stress are prone to mental problems, such as anxiety, depression, and mood disorders later in life, as well as learning difficulties. The famous psychologist Lev Vygotsky was the first to talk about the zone of proximal development. Children learn best when they are in the zone where tasks are not too easy and not too hard, where the goals are achievable with grit, determination, and passion.”

Parenting, according to the educator, should be founded on kindness and not criticism. “Kindness makes our children feel loved, not the degrees we have, not our concerns, not the number of after-school activities we take them to every day or homework we check. Kindness – that is our key story and key memory,” she said.

Parents also need to learn accept failures and teach the same to their kids. “What is failure? I oftentimes ask parents why they are so stressed when it comes to parenting. They say they don’t want their child to be a failure. But we impose our understanding of failure of mid-20s, 30s, 40s, whatever, to our five-year-olds. They have to enjoy the carelessness of life,” she expressed.

Also Read| ‘Parental pressure can be at the root of childhood depression’

“Teach them to ride a bike; to unsuccessfully bake a cake and giggle about it; have a difficult conversation; laugh today when you have gotten angry yesterday; forgive; apologise; teach values; whisper “I love you” more often than you think you should and more than you have done before,” she advised.

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