In order for your child to become successful in adulthood, you can resort to various methods and techniques that depend, in particular, on the child’s psycho-type, your pedagogical beliefs or abilities, and financial capabilities. Some people believe that a child should grow up in an atmosphere of absolute love and permissiveness, who is sure that only by prohibitions and drill can a strong personality be brought up that can achieve everything in life.
We propose to become familiar with the method, which, in our opinion, should satisfy parents and children, because praising and receiving praise is very pleasant. This is the most effective way to promote.
Dr. Carol Dweck, doing research in the field of mental growth motivation, suggests developing an incentive in children instead of fixed thinking.
She considers praise to be one of the most effective ways to instill stimulatory thinking. However, the scientist offers to praise not the mind of the child, but his ability to learn. For example, replace the phrase “How clever you are!”
Here are examples of phrases that motivate a child and instill in her a desire for development:
fixed thinking: “You managed to read this sentence correctly. How clever you are!”;
development orientation: “You managed to read this sentence correctly, because you learned to read! Greetings!”;
fixed thinking: “You coped with this puzzle so quickly! How clever you are!”;
development orientation: “Sorry that I took your time to solve such an easy puzzle. Let me find a more difficult one for you, because I know that you can cope with it”;
fixed thinking: “You have completed the test by 80%. Let’s move on to the next one”;
development orientation: “You completed the test by 80%, which means you are on the right track. If you check the wrong answers and correct your knowledge, then tomorrow you will complete all the tasks for 100%. I have no doubt about that.”
We agree that at first glance the difference between these phrases may not seem very large, but the result may be unexpected. This approach enhances the child’s self-esteem and provides confidence that there are several chances for solving various tasks.
This is not just a theory, it is based on experience. In the course of the research, Dweck proved that development orientation in education plays a big role. Together with his team, he analyzed the test results and was able to determine which of the children solved problems using fixed thinking and who focused on development.
“We studied their mentality and learned that there are already children with fixed intellect and children who are oriented towards cognition and learning. At the beginning of the school year, seventh-graders, with approximately the same thinking, carried out tests. But by the end of the first quarter of the school year, children were divided in their approach to learning. And this divergence in thinking could be observed in the following years: the students set themselves different tasks. If for children with fixed thinking the main goal was “to have the appearance of a wiseacre at all costs”, then for children oriented towards the development of thinking, the main rule was “to learn always and at any cost”.
