Premature birth, heart defects or other diseases – if your Baby needs a hospital, parents are traumatised often. In such a Situation, there is often a lack of psychological support. A guest author reported on this drastic experience.
I was one of the expectant Mamas, known as high-Risk pregnancies: I was 40 and pregnant with the second child. In practice, the tighter controls and visits to the perinatal center meant. There inquiries were made, I was able to keep track of the highest resolution and on a huge Flatscreen. A doctor said: “Well, everything is super fine with the Baby. Congratulations!“
About the guest author
Susanne is a citizen since 2011 self-employed as a systemically-trained Coach. The birth and the subsequent long stay in hospital, her second son were the experiences for you drastic. This brought her to write the book “When life begins”. On your Homepage, you can find more information.
Me calmed then, and I was able to prepare myself more with my “Hypnobirthing-CD” and a lot of relaxation on the birth. This time, it should be a perfect birth. And actually – it appointment started right and ran without any complications.
The Council of the midwife saved his life
The first night I spent in the hospital, but I was in a hurry to spend a home, and my baby moon-time in their own bed. To not more struck home to me soon, that our son drank properly and had to pass. “Oh, that must be determined still to get used to everything and maybe is him bad from birth”, wanted to reassure us a good friend.
But our midwife confirmed my concerns and advised us: “travel time to the clinic! Dear once more looked than once too little!“ Until today, we are so infinitely grateful, because as soon as we arrived back at the clinic, I saw only in a serious, worried faces of Doctors and nurses. Our child got infusions in the head, it ultrasound have made inquiries and I heard irritating phrases such as “we will take him in for monitoring on our intensive care unit.”
He had three times to be operated on
It then took a further 7 hours until our brave little Indians to be transported to a specialized children’s hospital was prepared. While the senior doctor told us that he would accompany the journey, drove our fully wired Baby in the incubator. We parents had to drive in the car afterwards. To this day, I don’t know how we managed that – I can remember, in fact, not the Details of this journey. I must have been in shock.
In the children’s hospital, the nightmare continued directly, since the on-duty night a doctor told immediately about the operation and anesthesia records. OP? My child was actually with me in my fresh bed with the pretty new nursing pillow. However, our just 48-hour-old Baby suffering from Hirschsprung’s disease, a very rare malformation of the colon and was already on the way to a life-sustaining emergency surgery. When he had survived, we had to stay a further three weeks in the hospital and in the next six months, a further two OPs.
Many parents wish for psycho-social support
How did I feel during this time? The initial shock quickly gave way to feelings of extreme sadness, anger and even shame over this Situation.
I found myself at the beginning as an extremely helpless in the Situation, because I was prepared for anything. I didn’t know how a Child looks like in ICU, as the processes are there. I knew nothing about the routines there and what is there in everyday life runs out. Everything made me afraid.
I got to know during three hospital stays, many mothers, and each would have wished for psycho-social support, but is not offered in every clinic. Any mother in your Situation, the questions that need to be individually clarified. Who cares for the child at home? Where I can’t sleep with hospital if placement in a clinic room is this possible? Mothers who have breastfed never, because it is the first child, in need of instruction when pumping the milk. Can’t offer the medically-trained personnel in a Neonatal intensive care unit. Parents feel so often alone and feeling world of the mothers and the fathers, is deeply shaken.
In this time it requires a lot of encouragement and help from the outside. The parents, it is just not possible to enjoy the depth of basic need of closeness, Cuddling and intense baby moon time. We asked ourselves: How can I use this time, in spite of all adverse circumstances binding? How can I create proximity? What does me good? Who, or what, offers help, gives strength, which reduces the clinic stress?
Such a Situation should not necessarily be traumatic for the parents
Every hundredth Baby to be born with a heart defect and we have in Germany, with early-born rate of about 8.6 percent (prior to the 37. Week of pregnancy) is one of the highest in Europe. Of all the early 10 percent are born prior to 32. Week of the pregnancy born. There are so many babies who have an “intense” Start to life, and there are many parents that need this help.
To me, it is important to raise awareness of this issue. We have a wonderful medical care in Germany, but everyone knows that there is a crisis in care. The Doctors and nurses do so much for the babies, but they often have no time to take care of the parents. I have been fighting, but that a hospital stay is not necessarily traumatic for the parents, if the child has a difficult Start in life.
I am a Coach and have had in the time a good network of colleagues that have helped me and gave me strength. And I had support from my family. And still, I had many desperate hours, in which I got very lonely on the hospital bed sat. I know that many many other parents as well. And that’s why I wrote an encouraging end compact book, which gives exactly these parents for this intense time tips. I’ve already gotten a lot of feedback from parents and parents ‘ associations, which it is very helped, and for that I am very, very grateful!