Depression is one of the most common mental disorders. According to the who, it affects more than 5% of Russians. And this is only the official statistics, experts believe that as many simply do not seek help. Tell how to behave if one of them is your close.
1. Understand that depression is serious
Believe me, this man is not pretending and is not trying to push the pity. And no, he’s not to blame for what is happening. Depression is not a weakness and not a character, but a disease that is diagnosed and treated. In the same way as, for example, diabetes. You will advise a diabetic to “be positive” or to “stop feeling sorry for yourself”? And that’s with your loved ones this will not work: he needs help much more serious than calls to take himself in hand.
Often the suicide of a partner, child or friend is to others a complete surprise. And not because the man is so good at hiding his condition: just his problems did not attach importance. Shrugged, laughed. In this emotional blindness is the greatest social problem of depression.
2. Show that you are near
Studies show that the feeling of loneliness against the backdrop of depression-provoking thoughts about suicide. And it is in such a state occurs frequently: people are often afraid to talk about their illness, fear of being misunderstood and rejected.
Let them know that you still love that person. Not for something, but just. Don’t stress that he has changed, don’t say “you used to be so much fun. I miss your laughter.” Show what will be next, no matter what happens.
3. Don’t devalue other people’s feelings
If you are ill with depressionyou will not understand until the end that one experiences in this state. No need to say something like “Remember how they fired me, and I spent the last week sitting at home? But I took myself in hand and coped with everything”. Or “Everyone have your problems. You need to look at life more optimistic”. Depression is not that simple. Such words will only cause irritation, guilt and despair from that one around and not trying to understand it. Don’t know what to say? Just hug, sometimes that’s enough.
4. Don’t forget about yourself
Often, people whose loved ones suffer from depression, by need a psychologist. It’s always hard, so you have to take care of myself too. Don’t need feats and sacrifices: set boundaries and rastvoryayas in a strange disease. Otherwise you risk to be in the pit. And don’t be afraid to show their feelings: if a patient is something you are hurt, talk about it. Not accusing, and not to get personal: just talk.
5. Don’t take everything so personally
Your close to all behaves as usual, and only alone with you like blown away, falls into a sadness and longing? This means that he trusts you. A person can a very long time to pretend that he was all right – and only friends to access her true feelings. If he is bored to talk, watch movies or even have sex, don’t take it personally. This is a normal manifestation of the disease.
Just a person depressed, even the happy moments are presented in grey – no wonder he has lost interest in your hobby. Sometimes people even stop to feel emotional attachment to a close – and this is also just a symptom. The more understanding you show, the faster everything will return into place.
6. Please be patient
Depression can last for years. And she very often returns, especially when the disease has developed “out of the blue”. According to recent studies, the disorder becomes chronic in 35% of cases. And among the remaining 65 % of patients, half occur repeated episodes. Not the fact that depression will now be present in your life constantly, but this also need to be prepared.
7. Refer to a specialist
No matter how sensitive and understanding you are, you can’t beat clinical depression on your own. Care and love is a wonderful thing, they give the strength to cope with the disease. But it’s not a cure.
If you suspect depression, the first thing you need to ask a psychiatrist or therapist. And it’s not an extreme measure, and not the recognition of his own weakness. If your loved one refuses to go to the doctor, explain to him that this is perfectly normal. When a person breaks his arm, he turns to the surgeon. When the “broken” mentality, you need to see a psychiatrist. No shame and no blame. Just tell us that now, more and more people are turning to depressed people and it really helps.
If he fears that he will be “put on record” or “put in Durkee”, explain that this does not happen. Statement on psychiatric abolished 20 years ago, and to put the person to the hospital against her will only if he threatens himself or to society. This decision made by the court.
Another important point – the antidepressants. Many are afraid of them, but often without drugs can not do. In the article “5 myths about antidepressants” we answer the main questions about how and why they work.