When we think of Sex, we connect often with images of young, attractive couples. The desire not to listen to the passionate desire and fulfilled sexuality, just because we have reached a certain age – quite the opposite.
Sex can be in more Mature years. This is to me in many conversations with the patients in my practice clear. Why is this so? Young couples in their thirties and forties are usually in the middle of the “Rush Hour of Life”: In this Phase of the life of the course for the career will be provided, solid partnerships, and high real-estate loans.
This means hard work and often long hours in the office, for men and for women. Who comes home from work, plays with the child, and, sinking exhausted and weary to bed, and who was at home with the baby, wants to finally time. Time for the Partner? Time for seduction? For passionate Sex? It is only when everything else is done. So today, not more. Maybe tomorrow. And so: almost never!
About the expert
Stefan Woinoff is a psychotherapist. As a relationship expert, he is, among other things, for the platform Zweisam.de a site for Singles over 50.
Unfortunately, older couples in a long-term partnership, not infrequently, very little, or even no more Sex. The adult is asleep, and neither of them dares to kiss the other awake again, although he or she would like to.
Straight from the mid-50 a lot more time and energy for Sex
That tenderness and Sex decrease over the life continuously, but need not be, quite the contrary: it is Precisely from the mid-50 a lot more time and energy is mostly back in place. The most stressful time of life is over and we can refocus. For the good Sex in this new Chapter in life, one does not necessarily need a new love that also can succeed well in the previous partnership.
If we as a Single on the search and want to fall in love, then we are now in need of a Partner more for all the projects we wanted to realize earlier: career, children, home – that we have reached, or no longer plays a role. Instead, we now have significantly more time for us and for the Partner or the Partner.
Regardless of expectations
We select him or her according to other criteria: are in Demand now more of soul mates, the Queen of hearts, the Sensitive, the Understanding. Add to that: we feel We are independent of expectations and have to us and our prove To, nothing more. Because now it is no longer a common future that must be addressed, but a common present, you want to just enjoy.
And we can encounter erotic when, how and where we want to insert hour: For example, at noon, a “shepherd” when the Younger sweating in the office. For some, it is almost that time again, like earlier in their pupils ‘or students’ time.
In addition, The great Similarity between women and men in the second half of life, the tenderness, the not can now also enjoy the men more, even if it leads straight to the Sex.
Sex with a new love
Couples who fall in love beyond the 50 new, by the way, in terms of eroticism and sexuality more easily. When in the old relationship many wants and needs came to the fore, you can be in a new partnership mostly uninhibited. It is easier to have with a new Partner, satisfying Sex with the Ex-Partner has not touched a over the years.
It is also advisable to search for a Partner on eye-level, like at a similar age. I say this especially in the direction of the men looking ever after much younger women. The most beautiful of the Sex, with someone who understands, because he is in the same phase of life. Then can the time to enjoy it much more relaxed the common desire.
Relaxed with imperfections bypass
The optimization of delusion – a real lust killer – you can leave of 50 and comforted the Younger ones. Just for the older Generation: Neither women nor men need to look young, beautiful and perfect, to be able to make love. We Older can make it easier to deal with the physical imperfections that are over a certain age is inevitable, in a relaxed deal.
It’s worth it: Up to a high age, there is still to discover New things, and some only in later years, a genuine, fulfilled sexuality.