As it’s revealed more than half of parents still find it hard to talk to children about puberty, TV host Gabby Logan, who has twins, says it’s time mums and dads caught up with modern kids…
With hormones raging and self-confidence wobbling, puberty can be a scary time for teenagers.
Everything from their first spot or first period, to breaking voices or having to shave for the first time can seem like the biggest problem in the world. And for parents it can be a minefield as they try to help their child navigate the rocky road to adulthood.
A survey has found more than 90% of parents want to be their kids’ first port of call when it comes to having “the chat” – but over half find talking about puberty too tough.
As mum to 13-year-old twins Lois and Reuben, Gabby Logan knows only too well what parents of teens up and down the country are facing.
But she thinks today’s youngsters are more open when it comes to speaking to parents about everything from puberty to relationships than they were in her generation.
Gabby, 45, found it awkward chatting to her mum Christine and football star dad Terry Yorath, but her kids aren’t phased at all.
“We didn’t really have massive chats at all,” she explains. “But my kids at that age were already showing me they were much more open and chatty about things and asking me stuff I’d never have asked my parents.
“It was later on when I was 16, 17, 18 that I felt that I could chat with my mum about things. Certainly at my kids’ age I didn’t feel I could have those conversations.”
Now Gabby, along with her twins, is fronting TheTeenTalk campaign to encourage parents to chat to their children about puberty. She says she believes the sharing culture of social media has helped kids be more open than they were 30 years ago. “They have a lot of things they want to share,” she says. “They share a lot in their lives anyway. I think social media has changed the way of communicating. They just want to talk about everything a bit more.
“Whatever they see, they want to talk about – whether it’s politics, or issues, causes and concerns – and that in turn applies to the changes going on with themselves and puberty.”
But that doesn’t mean Gabby has no reservations about the way kids use technology. Lois and Reuben were only allowed mobiles a few months ago, and Gabby and husband Kenny, 46, keep a close eye on their use.
“I have always been strict about what they consume – they are not in the Wild West out there watching what they want to watch,” says Gabby. “They don’t have free rein. When they were growing up I made sure they didn’t watch films too far above their age. I felt they should enjoy childhood and not be too exposed to things that are too adult for them to understand.
“But when they start asking questions, they know I will be honest with them as I won’t just let them find out for themselves.”
And ask questions they do. Lois and Reuben are open with both their mum and are just as likely to approach their dad, ex-rugby international Kenny Logan.
“I’ve been really lucky it has all felt quite straightforward,” she says. “Some things you have to put a bit more thought into it, but you have to be honest and not mislead them.
“I might have a chat to Kenny first about something I am going to talk to them about and see if he agrees.”
Gabby says being prepared is key – both practically and emotionally – so parents and teenagers can deal with issues together as they arise.
And also making sure teenagers know they are not alone, and that everybody develops at different rates. “Being prepared in terms of having products at home is a really good idea,” she says. “That was one thing that always worried Lois, what if I start my period and you are working away?
“Knowing the essentials are there helps. If a child starts talking to you because they are worried they might be a bit smelly and need deodorant and you haven’t got something there that is just for them, they might feel like ‘you have just given me something of yours out of the cupboard’.
“This is their rite of passage, their special time. It is about them. Be ready for conversations that might come up, and how you felt when it was happening to you. I’ve been having periods for 30 years, I’m used to it.
“As a teen, it occupied so much headspace when these things started happening – and it is important for us as parents to remember these were landmarks at that age. You have to try to keep your child’s confidence up, so that self-esteem isn’t damaged in any way by their experiences.
“And obviously keeping the conversations going, because if they can talk to you about this they will hopefully feel they can talk to you about anything else that comes along in the next few years.
“If you can have open discussions with people it can only lead to better mental health which is a big problem in society.
“Talking helps to keep you healthy in mind and body.”
- Gabby, Lois and Reuben are supporting TheTeenTalk campaign. For more info, go to boots.com
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