Eating together unites the family and is only too often the field of battle. Food psychologist Johann Christoph Klotter explains, why also in conflict, something Good is in it, and how we deal with whiny children.
“If someone tells me that he would have a totally harmonious family, do I always get the creeps”, says Johann Christoph Klotter in an interview with FOCUS Online. Because where there is people, there are also differences – and that is a good thing. The Professor for nutritional psychology and health promotion at the HS Fulda speaks to the fit4future Congress in 2018, about the conflicts on the “battlefield dining table”.
The four-year-old, the whine: “Ugh, it tastes to me!”, the 14-Year-old who suddenly becomes a vegetarian to rebel against their parents, or the little angel who suddenly mutated to the Spaghetti-throwing Monster: is The Board just a place where a peaceful and joyous community dines together. “It is also the best place to quarrel,” said Klotter.
It is a daily uphill battle
Older children sought the delimitation of the adults. Small children, however, especially problems, to comply with the rules. The Professor explains that they are rebelling, although I’d love to against structures, but basically are happy about that. After a brief feeling of triumph they would lose in a “fog wall”, in which any orientation is missing.
“Parents are the guardians of the framework,” says the food psychologist. “This is a daily uphill battle and not fun. But it’s inevitable.“ Because the common meal, the children can learn a lot in order to survive socially, to share with others or to control their own physical needs.
A Central meeting point for the family
In addition, the food was in the whole history of humanity is always a Central meeting point for the family where belonging and sharing. For Klotter, the common meal, therefore, is essential: “Radically said: Without food there is no family! And food “to go” is a social disaster.”
In the stressful life of working parents, it must, therefore, planned deliberately and as a Ritual to be established. You should already consider in the morning what you want to cook in the evening – at best together with the children. And accept that, then the basement time not cleaned up. “Eat not of us, we design it,” said the Professor. “All the rest are excuses!”
Parents may also be according to
But as it does not provide parents with busy children, to lose at the table the nerves? Klotter advises, emotions, not to suppress, to be transparent, but not classified as violent, because nothing is as scary as false peace, and a painted permanent smile: “parents are allowed to be loud.”
Very important game, but were spaces in the rules and a certain amount of Serenity, free to the jungle book. This means that If the child makes at the table a few faxes, I don’t get a tantrum. And when it comes to the Wriggle too far, the room is sent and on the way, a small voice says, it would have been still hungry and was now well-behaved, then it may back to the table.
Health initiative of the “fit4future”
“Parents(communication) as the key to a successful health promotion” is the focus of the sixth fit4future Congress “children. Healthy. Grow up.” Melanie Huml, Bavarian Minister of state for health and care, has taken on the patronage.
As a strong Partner to vouch for the high quality: The DAK health, the Cleven Foundation, on the Initiative of the life habits of primary and special school children in a lasting way have a positive influence on want to, as well as the platform nutrition and movement e. V. (peb).
Children are not an administrative task
Standard rules such as “you eat what comes on the table,” or “You’ve got to your plate eat” the food psychologist nothing at all: “If my son is sick of it, I plug it then? I find the violent.“ Structures should never be forced, and the reality of the child. You need to find out what the child wants. Parents and children should each other. The family comes back from a tiring trip, the children are obviously tired and perhaps thin-skinned than usual.
In the case of refusal of Food and preferences’m often behind it that the kids want to prove their independence. The Council of experts in such cases: “Out of vegetables is no sanctuary, the child will survive otherwise.” Much you could compensate with a little bit of ingenuity: Like a child, absolutely no fruit, it might find a liking to fresh-squeezed juices.
Key to the common food is for Klotter, above all, to stay relaxed and to accept that we make mistakes: “the Only people who have no children, are perfect.” And sometimes parents have to make, perhaps, aware of the fact that children are not an administrative task, but a gift.