Becoming a parent comes with more sleepless nights—and fewer sexy evenings. That’s according to a new survey conducted by mattress company Leesa, which asked 977 parents about how having kids affected their sex life.
The main conclusion: While cuddling increased, the number of times new parents had sex per month declined by 47%, dropping from 19 times each month before baby to 10 times after that bundle of joy has arrived.
If you’re already a parent you might relate to the findings—yep, you’re not the only one doing it a lot less. And if you plan to be a mom one day, we hope the rest of the survey results don’t scare you away from procreating. Not only did frequency decline, but the quality of sex did as well, reported 46% of the respondents.
While you might think sexual frequency and quality tanked because it’s difficult for new parents to find quiet time and a private place to get it on, another factor might come into play: sex drive. Of the moms surveyed, 61% reported decreased sexual desire, while 51% of dad respondents said their libidos did not change post-baby. (Though interestingly, 30% of fathers said their desire dipped.)
When parents were in the mood for rocking the sheets, 67% said they waited until the kids were asleep, and 64% made an effort to have quiet sex. But some new moms and dads got creative: 54% put their kids to bed early and 42% skipped the bedroom and did it in the shower.
When they finally get some alone time, most parents (67%) said that they just locked their door and got busy. Unfortunately, 15% haven’t been able to keep their intimate moments private—and their kids walked in on them during sex. Yikes.
Life with kids has its challenges, and finding quality time for great sex is clearly on that list. But consider one of the survey’s upsides: 40% of women and 47% of men said parenthood had no effect on their sex life. If things were bangin’ before baby, then hopefully they will be after.
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